Oops?

'Twas the night before a Robotics examination back in uni days. Oh yes, I am an engineer by training. There was a bunch of us studying the living room of the house I rented with 4 other friends, trying to cram everything and determined not to sleep in order not to waste any time.

As the clock wound closer towards the exam, and the night gets later and later, we got very sick and tired of the engineering cocktail splayed in front of us. We started talking. The YB then proceeded to tell us about his new phone and new phone number. Somehow, The Red Yob got an idea - prank call. Since The YB's number is new, no one had it yet besides us in the living room then. So The Red Yob served as the prankster doing the calls , The YB provided the phone and The Gunner provided the numbers. Me, The Bohemian Rocker, The Captain and The Khanster was the audience.

The stage was set. We all sat in a circle around the phone with the loudspeaker on. The Red Yob dialled a number, it was Golden Goddess' (GG). It was almost 3am, and it rang a few times before GG answered it in a sleep-ladden voice. Here goes the approximate dialogue:

RY: Hello, can I speak toMs GG?
GG: Yes
RY: Ms GG, I'm calling from Era FM and you are on our radio show
GG: Hrmm?
RY: Yes Ms GG, we're on air now. Right now we have a song playing, but we would like you to do us a favour. Is that possible?
GG: Err, OK...
RY: When I give the cue, can you say (RY asked her to say out loud the Radio's popular tagline)
GG: Ermm..(obviously bewildered)
RY: OK Ms GG, my producer has just given the sign than we're about to go live. Are you ready?
GG: Ohh, OK
RY: (in his best radio presenter voice) Itulah tadi lagu You're Beautiful oleh James Blunt, permintaan Natasha dari Gombak. Bersama kita di talian ialah Cik GG, Cik GG adakah anda apa apa-apa yang ingin dikatakan kepada pendengar kita malam ini?
GG: TERIMA KASIH ERA!!!

Believe me, we did not expect her to do it. Some people we called earlier just hung up on us. Prolly because she was asleep when we called, prolly because it's done so quickly she has no time to come to her senses. Whatever it was, it was sure as hell funny!

To GG, We're sorry for the prank. We had a tough time facing you in class after that because we're afraid that you'll found out. I'm sure you realized it was a prank there and then when The Bohemian Rocker just burst out laughing when you finished the tagline. We were just crazy boys bored out of our heads, blame it on Robotics. Peace.

P/S: To Era FM, sorry for using your radio's name in the prank. It says something about your marketing that everyone knows the tagline =)

I've Seen It All

I've seen it all, I have seen the trees
I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze
I've seen a friend killed by a friend
And lives that were over before they were spent
I've seen what I was - I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see

You haven't seen elephants, kings or Peru
I'm happy to say I had better to do
What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall!
And the man you will marry? The home you will share?
To be honest, I really don't care...

You've never been to Niagara Falls?
I have seen water, its water, that's all...
The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State?
My pulse was as high on my very first date
Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair?
To be honest, I really don't care...

I've seen it all, I've seen the dark
I've seen the brightness in one little spark
I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need
And that is enough, to want more would be greed
I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see

You've seen it all and all you have seen
You can always review on your own little screen
The light and the dark, the big and the small
Just keep in mind - you need no more at all
You've seen what you were and know what you'll be
You've seen it all - there is no more to see

footnote: I absolutely love this song, though that does not change the fact that I think Bjork is freaky. Old song, but not too late for you to listen to it.

Matter Of The Fact Is...

I yearn for anonymity and popularity at the same time.

I yearn for solitude for me to rue and reflect and repent yet also I yearn for company to revive and recharge and regenerate.

I treasure the slow lazy afternoons accompanied by a book and a cold drink, with some music turned down low enough to hear but not loud enough to listen to. Me in my old tshirt and khaki shorts, putting the book down every now and then to pick up the Epiphone and start strumming some notes together. When my fingers start to ache, I'll return to my duck down heaven and slide away into the pages of the book again.

I treasure the loud crazy nights with the blokes, we'll be cussing and eating and laughing and drinking. No dress code required, anything goes. No need for formalities, no need for niceties. Nothing said gets taken to the heart, ever. That's only possible when there's no malice involved, that's why I don't mind being cussed at for hours by these blokes. It's tough love, but it's love all the same. All for one and one for all, oh the cliché-ness of it.

Whoops, another pointless entry.

Open Sores

I get mouth ulcers all the time, but this time I bet it's stress induced.

My job is as an internal consultant of sorts (for now, later I will be required to engage clients as well with my thought process). That requires a whole lotta creative thinking and trouble-shooting skills. It's draining to be thinking all day long.

Lately however the workload has increased. It has been hectic since mid September. These days I'm feeling very fatigued and more often than not go to bed early, and keep waking up later than usual. With all the sleep that I'm getting it's a wonder that eyebags are still developing.

I can't stress (pun unintended) enough how much I'm looking forward to my leave next week.

Just Another Public Holiday

Raya is only 12 days away, everywhere I go I can hear Raya songs being played. The weekends' traffic jams are getting worse now that people are rushing to do their Raya shopping. New clothes, new furnitures, new curtains, new car. All the fun of the fare.

Me, I've done nothing. Did not even buy a single item of clothing. Actually am not even looking forward to it. For the first time in my life I don't give two hoots about Raya. It will be just another day for me.

I was excited about it before, was planning to enjoy myself. Took 7 days of leave so as not to worry about working so soon after Raya. Then the shit hits the fan. Kementerian decided to send my dad (along with 29 other colleagues) to London for a course. His flight leaves on first Raya. My mom lost her mood for Raya, and decided that we're just going to have our Raya in KL. Just me, mom, dad and my brother. My other siblings will be put up with my gran, so they won't have to miss Raya as well.

Theoretically, Raya is Raya no matter where right? Wrong. I wanna be back in my hometown, in my kampung, meeting and greeting relatives whom I don't even recall who they are, I want to be forced to eat and drink at every house I go to until I had to plead for mercy, I want to eat gran's superb Raya breakfast, I want my Raya. Raya in KL means what for me? Zilch, nada.

I wasted 7 days of my leave just to stay in this damn city for Raya.

Morons

Managing people is not easy. Managing idiots are near impossible. I pity a colleague of mine who had a grievance letter filed against her. The reason? Well, the problem stemmed from the choice of menu for a Raya makan-makan. Someone doesn't want chicken, and another doesn't want beef or mutton. When fish was proposed, everyone else objected as it's not Raya like to only have fish. So chicken is back into the picture. Then the original guy gets incensed and soon they start bickering among themselves. Note, these people involved are all Malay clericals and something about a Union directive was also involved. Soon the exec (my friend) and some officers intervened. That's when they all decided to file a grievance because my friend and the officers apparently insulted and threatened them by saying "gaduh macam budak sekolah" and "the bank pays for our salary". I would have said something far worse were I to be there. Imbeciles.

I don't what is it about these people that they follow the Union's directive blindly. Maybe there's a flock mentality and peer pressure, but most times I think they're just being dumb. Have you seen the badges they wear to work? "We Deserve 30% Raise" and "The Bank Is Stealing Our Bonus". I would love to give them a piece of my mind about it, but that would invite grievances against me and possibly disciplinary action too. Sigh. You deserve a raise? Prove that with your KPI then maybe we'll talk more. The bank steals your bonus? Feel free to leave and seek employment elsewhere. Of course, not in a bank as all banks will do the same thing. No one is making you stay with that kind of negative attitude. I wonder if these people realize that they are losing their bonus because of the salary demands? They have the Union to thank for it.

True it doesn't apply to all. Most of them are just regular hardworking folks, and yes a lot of them just ignore the directives to not do extra work and not to join non-work related activities. I respect these people for having a mind of their own, to charter their own course. I hope these people will make the step up soon. They are the ones who deserved it.

I don't tolerate idiocy.

Story Time 1: Autumn

The breeze was refreshing. It is a cool evening, not unusual at this time of the year. The leaves are starting to yellow on the many maple trees that line the avenue where he lived. Further down the street, the Sterling geese are starting to appear again on the small lake at the park. They have returned south to breed, he suspects.

He stood up to catch the small slipstream, and soon his dark wavy hair is swirling in the wind. Tousled and tangled, his hair flowed freely with the wind. He smiled softly, the cool breeze is lightening his mood.

As he stood there, hair flapping wildly about his face, he recollected his thoughts. He was there for a reason. He sighed a long sigh. There's still time to pause and retreat, but he feels no reprieve. This is a promise he made himself one time not too long ago, and he intends it to be the only promise he ever kept.

He put down the piece of paper that he took out from his jeans' back pocket and put it on the floor, weighed down by his wallet and cheap watch. He looked across the horizon, over the town limits and towards the limitless expanse of land. A tear trickled from his eyes, he wiped it away roughly with his left arm. No time for melodrama, he said to himself.

He took of his Jack Purcells and put them beside the note and watch and wallet, but he kept his socks on. It's getting a bit chilly. The lights are coming on by batches all over the town, in respond to the encroaching darkness that this September night brings.

With one last breath, he took a step into the darkness and fell tumbling towards the hard concrete below.

The rushing wind soothed him for the few seconds it took for gravity to take him down. He closed his eyes all the way down, he dared not look at Death straight in the eye. And without pomp, it ended. Limbs broken like dry twigs underfoot, a crimson tide flows warmly from his head on to the cold concrete pavement. His hair, matted now with blood and gore, no longer flails about in the September breeze. He lies motionless, all skewed and battered. Just like that, he ceases to be.

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Yes, lotsa grammatical mistakes. No, I don't care at this moment in time.