Vandals

Whenever I (had to) use public toilets, I used to read the graffitis 'decorating' the stall while taking care of business. It amuses me to read so many advertisement for 'services' of all kinds. Jantan sasa? Got. Amoi manja? Got. Pondan mantap? Gottttt.

They always listed down the phone numbers as well if you feel like having a try. Many a times, they even have diagrams illustrating 'certain' facts.

Then recently I noticed how times have changed. After such a long time of not visiting public WCs with graffitis, I finally found one with some writings on the door and walls:

"kerajaan makan duit rakyat!"

"parti xyz takda telur, pengecut"

"parti 123 pak turut, sembah parti abc"

Aik, vandals pon nak main politik jugak? When did everyone stopped having fun?

Long Drive Home

Took me 9 hours of non-stop driving (save for two toilet breaks in Kuala Krai and Kechau Petronas stations) to get me safe and sound back in Ampang yesterday.

The trip got off to a bad start, the traffic grinded to a halt somewhere after Kota Bharu and crawled towards Kuala Krai at a pace a snail would be ashamed of. The 1-hour stretch became 3, and I contemplated turning back and trying my luck another time.

But I persevered. Soon after Kuala Krai the traffic jam untangled itself and we managed to cruise at around 80 km/h. Of course at some stretches it slowed down to a crawl again and you'll start seeing dimwits using the emergency lanes to overtake on the left side. There's an MPV with multiple stickers and whatnot saying there's a baby on board doing so, funny that the driver doesn't seem to care about the safety of said baby.

Somewhere near Kuala Lipis, Makdik called updating me on the traffic condition (she's got a few hours headstart on me ), the traffic had crawled to a standstill in Raub seemingly. So I took the alternative route via obscure small hamlets of Sg Ruan, Klau, Sertik etc. Pretty soon it started to feel like a bad horror movie.

That stretch was pretty much empty save for a motorcycle now and then, and it was getting dark fast. Darker when the tall palm trees are casting longer and longer shadows. I don't see any streetlight lights, and homes were few and far in between. God don't let my car broke down here, please.

Did I mention I was driving alone?

An hour or so later (and a wrong turn inserted for good measure), I emerged on a small ramp leading to the Karak Highway and I was on the home stretch!

Woke up today with stiff arms, sore back, sore throat (from the heat and uhh singing along to the CDs to keep me company), headache and feeling rather glad I did not turn back and miss out on this mini adventure of sorts.

And oh, Selamat Hari Raya people!

Some Like It Wet

Yesterday it rained so heavily I can't see further than the car in front of me. Trudging along at 50 km/h, not daring to go any faster lest we want to end up dead, it reminded me of something though.

I used to walk to and fro class in uni every day for 4 years, and it took me about 15-20 minutes per way. Enough time to swear sweat under the burning sun. And sometimes, the sky would open up on me and I would be soaked head to toe. If I was on the way to class, that would mean an about turn was necessary and uhh no class.

Thing is, I actually enjoyed being rained upon. Besides the obvious fact that it negates the risk of my hair catching fire from the heat, it has a calming effect. The cool caress of the droplets as they first kissed the skin was delicious, and the refreshing outpour following that usually invigorates.

Sometimes good samaritans would stop their cars and offer me rides, and sometimes I would accept. Other times, I'd smile and shake my head while mouthing a silent thank you. I bet they think I'm crazy.

Then after 4 years of walking, I finally got to use my mom's old car and then 2 years ago I bought my own car to replace that one. No more wet pasty hair, no drenched shirts and pants, no sloshing shoes. It is no fun anymore.

Next time I'm home fiddling my thumb, and the sky starts to turn grey - I will be out there, probably pretending to look for a lost key or kitten so that the neighbours won't look at me funny next time. But I will be embracing the downpour like a long lost friend now found again. Oh yes I will.

Point To Ponder

I was walking back after Friday prayers and saw a car with a big sticker on the rear window saying boldly in black and yellow - Fear Allah.

I don't know, but it feels wrong to preach based on fear. Compare that to the 'I Love Jesus' stickers instead. When you fear, you often find ways to rebel. But when you love, you do more than you are supposed to. Isn't that often the case?

Dahlia Street Crew

Come to think of it, we had a frat house going back in Uni. That double storey terrace in Desa Dahlia was our very own frat house, 6 residents (me, Scouser, AlyG, Man, Pije, Amr) and maybe a dozen hang-arounds made the place so.

Our immediate neighbour was a pakcik and his family we affectionately call Ayah Pin (after the infamous Kerajaan Langit fella, remember him?). We sure gave him a hard time, a few times he knocked on our doors telling us to be quiet. Luckily he never called the cops on us. Sorry Ayah Pin pakcik, we were idiots then.

Across the street was a whole row of houses taken over by Samsung and made into hostels for their female workers. Boy those ladies weren't shy. Getting catcalls from women was a novelty, but getting it from ladies clad in bras and no shirts was a bit scary.

Some of us used to play firecrackers in the yard we had behind the house, and after a while it gets old. So to keep it fresh, main dalam rumah pulak. Imagine the shock you get from a loud bang coming from the kitchen downstairs, only to find 2 hysterical guys throwing mercuns at each other.

Then we had 'Sunway Lagoon', riding a small mattress down the stairs just because we can. Usually results in very sore bums and other miscellaneous light injuries, light enough not to deter us for subsequent runs.

We recorded our own version of 'Forever Blowing Bubbles' after watching Green Street Hooligans, and call ourselves the Dahlia Street Crew. AlyG's cluelessness was hilarious. I still have the mp3 boys, hahaha.

We even had an indoor BBQ once, no kidding. We were planning for one and was just about to get started in the yard when it started to rain. Luckily someone had 2 electric BBQ, so we decided to move it indoors and closed the doors and windows to prevent the smoke from coming out and alarming our neighbours. Loads of food, lots of good people, PS2, massive smoke inhalation, slight electric shocks. Superb. Haz even took some videos of us and posted it to Youtube, bugger!

And then there's the pranks like the 'terima kasih Era' prank I wrote about earlier. I still can't bring myself to add her on Facebook, the shame! But it was funny though, hehe. We also used to drive our friends' houses and shout their names in the middle of the nights. We call it Drive-By Shouting. God what were we thinking?

Then there's the cookouts we have (I think we cooked throughout Ramadhan), playing the guitars and learning new songs, dinner at the cheapest place possible, boycotting our favourite restaurant because it started to get sloppy, each of us downloading different series so that we have non-ending supply of things to watch on our house local network etc. We spent a whole lot of time just hanging out together.

It was one of the best periods of my Uni life. Everytime I find myself in the vicinity I would take a short detour just to see how the old (frat) house is doing. Man, Pije and Amr are all married with kids and working with Petronas, JKR and TNB. Me and Scouser are both in banking despite all of us being engineering graduates. I lost contact with AlyG, and last I heard he was still chilling around. Awesome.

Fun At The Mamak

"anney, menu ade?"

Roti kosong
Roti telur
Roti pisang
Roti sardin
Roti bawang
Roti tisu
Roti tampal
Roti jantan

Ehh?

"anney, roti jantan nih roti apa?"

"sama macam itu roti telur, tapi dua biji telur"

Ahh, should've guessed that.

True story.

Interview With The Banker

A few months ago I was asked to attend an interview with a local Islamic bank. I was kinda excited at the prospect of going into the Islamic banking space, so I decided to give it my best shot.

So there I was, dressed to the nines with my swanky cufflinks, tailored shirt and matching tie, tailored pants (no pleats, of course) and all the works. I was trying to make a decent first impression, you know.

As I was filling up the forms in the HR waiting area, I started to notice that the other folks who were there for interviews (I know so because they were all filling up the same forms) did not exactly put much thought into what they were wearing. Imagine lots of 'shiny' shirts (kain berkilat, is it rayon? polyester?), ties that clashes with the shirt colour, khaki pants and loafers. I thought hey, I'm gonna be a standout!

That was before I observed the bank's staff as they passed though the waiting area. They were dressed like these guys! I thought oh heck, if the clothes are not gonna help me I'll just impress them with my BS, I mean my CV and my oratory skills instead.

I was called into the room and was met with 3 middle-aged ladies who looked so motherly and a man wearing a jubah and kopiah. Huh? Turned out, he's the hiring manager, and an ustaz at that! My mind starts recalling all the do'a and surah just in case he asked, you never know right?

Well I think I did quite well since one of the moms (she's the Head of Something apparently) said I'm very eloquent and she's quite impressed with the CV too. Then the ustaz just had to come up with a trick question, would I choose a horse or a woman. That's it, no explanation. No prizes for guessing which one did I chose.

At the end, the HR manager said they really liked my personality but was not sure about me fitting in with their bank because I was too confident and smooth and all that jazz. That's the first time I heard anyone said that I'm much too good for something, ever! It's a weird feeling, disappointed yet disgustingly happy too =P And I guess my choosing the sexy blonde over the strong thoroughbred did not help sway the votes either, hehe.

So yeah, I didn't get that job, but they did offered something else which I was not interested in. Come to think of it, it was the best for both parties. I'm guessing we're operating on different frequencies, and I still need my daily dose of lengluis of course.