Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Living Room Theorem

A friend asked me why didn't I write more about what's happening in the Malaysian political scene. Well, there's simply too many instant just-add-water political 'experts' analysing the situation. Political blogs now sprout like fungus on Britney's, err, nevermind. I read some of them too, I admit. I feel that most of them are just recycling other people's thoughts on the matter. Some are just raving mad lunatics spewing forth obscenities at all and sundry - and call that political observation. Talk is sure cheap these days.

So to appease him, and whoever else, this is my political post. It's a conspiracy theory, a popular theme with those 'political analysts'. I told some friends about this last week and over the weekend, and they say it's incredulous. I don't know, sounds possible to me. At least it's a refreshing change from the usual fare served up on the net and mainstream media. I think that neither Najib nor Anwar orchestrated the whole Tikam Belakang Episode II farce. I think someone just a wee bit higher or his aides/thinkthanks/posse/hangers-on who is greasing the machinery. Yeah, sounds incredulous isn't it? Now let me explain why I think so.

Before this thing blew up in the press, the main topic on everyone's mind was oil price and when will numero uno step down since he's incompetent. There's two candidates waiting in the wings to take over the hot seat, Najib and Anwar (of course, if his takeover plans were to be successful lah). I guess Pak Lah must be under a lot of pressure then. But then, what's the use of all those folks he paid to think for him?

Before you know it, the storm abated for him and wreaked havoc elsewhere - being implicated directly with the Altantuya case for Najib and sodomy again for Anwar. And then comes the connecting factor between them both, the Saiful bloke. So whose to gain from all this? Top Dog is out of the limelight, only appearing in the broadsheets to give comments. His minions aka KJ etc are also strangely quiet. Could they be busy at work, directing this play? Suddenly Top Dog doesn't seem like a bad choice after all when compared to Mr C4 and Mr Sodomizer. Could this be his tactic to undermine his challengers? If it is so, he's doing a good job. Both men's credibilities are being dragged though mud, would the rakyat still want them? Perhaps the rakyat will settle for the lesser evil instead, sleeping on the job doesn't sound so bad when compared to the other things his challengers purpotedly did.

But it's only a baseless theory, conjured up in the living room. Everyone's free to make theirs, so what's yours?

PS: No I don't know that Saiful bloke. Someone wrote about him being a student leader in Uniten and asking isn't there anyone more qualified in Uniten. Well, most of us didn't even bother to have a go at the posts or even vote since the student reps year in year out were usually a bunch of cronyistic, position-seeking sobs. We just boycotted the whole thing, so that's why more qualified folks didn't run for those posts.

PPS: Turned out, RPK wrote of the same theory in his regular column on Sunday. Great minds eh?


|1f34|-|1r3 said...

nak topi !!

Anonymous said...

You are the best
Keep writing as I enjoy reading them
Good Post really
take care

The Banker said...

life4hire: datang rumah aku amek

haaniiali: thanks for the kind words, made my day ;)

Perky said...

Ooh, i'm staying out of this one... I tend to have verbal diarrhea when it comes to politics ;)

|1f34|-|1r3 said...

hoho..marah nampak..jom la chill out this weekend...jgn dilupakan topi aku...

The Banker said...

perky: haha, same here. it's a struggle to keep the word count down.

life4hire: ana x marah, ana polak..haha

maemo said...

hehe.. nice man.. this is what i meant by "from your point of view"..

distant observer said...

yes, dont be fooled! The sleepy man has a working brain after all it seemed, or it is the ugly baboon who orchestrated the whole havoc to shift the attention from the fuel hike and the damaging consequences? The millionaire unemployed MP is of course not affected by all this havaoc and probably is planning his very next move. I should shoot the baboon with tranquilizer!

Khairy the Mastermind said...


Sodomy is a useful word
recently said and heard,
in Malaysian homes and offices
it’s all about famous orifices.
What is going on, you wonder
when Bala steals the thunder,
finger pointing the magic word
to the delight of a horny herd
Organs united, names forgotten?
VIPs are really rotten
Saifool he knows and did not know
doubts about Aminah begin to grow
of whose loose lips he was afraid
but liked her other end instead;
of course he knew it wasn't right
but it felt so good and tight!
You could not hump like Greeks
the Hindenburg’s fat cheeks;
what her hubby found so succulent
was making Rosmah trucculent.
And so she thought, the time was due
for a nice Mongolian barbecue.
Enter the analyst, not so anal,
who found the girl too banal;
fearing supernatural harm
from her juicy feminine charm,
he hired Bala straightaway
to keep the honeytrap at bay
but private dicks were of no match
for Aminah's superlative snatch
and now that Najib had had his fill,
he would not share the till;
right after the submarine deal,
Aminah's fate he would seal.
Now Rosmah had one idea
on how to kenakan dia
"Let’s bomb the bombshell,
let's send her to hell."
Thus perished the hapless beauty
after translation and booty duty;
now Rosmah’s ass was happy
until one blogger got yappy;
this Hindenburg nearly caught fire
yet to sue she has no desire.
But Najib's part in this murder
will travel much further;
despite his media actions
and one or two retractions,
some questions will remain
a big part of his bane–
how did Altantuya really die?
and why did he have to lie?
Did he pay off Bala savvily,
or threaten to C4 his family?
What acts could be more despised?
With his money, we’re not surprised;
after all, he's such a bully beast,
to him and him alone, at least,
magic words that cannot apply–
are useful for making rivals die.

callister said...


NoktahHitam said...

9pm. Loc: After futsal hang out. Friday night. If you're up for it la.

KJ is definitely the man, the beast and slithering snake. Those who reads a lot, know what to make of KJ.

I dont blame politic analyst springing like shit, they all echo the same motive, overthrow the gov, period. In fact I dont mind at all.

Compared to our non-stop licking the Govs ass mainstream medias , I rather read utter rubbish.

The point is to get the word out as much as possible. Definitely not about being who is pandai-er, savvier and knows all the political holes etc.

You want to be mad of the newly political analyst? I think you're just wasting your time over trivial matters.

Well, thats my piece.

kidd said...

ah, putting the politic hat on. two thumbs up and no toes were raised...

The Banker said...

wow, suddenly an outburst of comments.

maemo: as per your request, sire. hehe.

distant observer: ditto

khairy the mastermind: comprehensive story, you should start a blog there my man.

callister: hi back!

noktahhitam: everyone's entitled to their own opinions, all's fair in love and war so they say.

NoktahHitam said...

I second that, tp ko mcm frantically marah gile babi kt new political blog. anyway, ko nye marah, bukan aku.

The Banker said...

noktahhitam: i dont mind personal opinions, served in a manner palatable to everyone. tapi kalau just nak sumpah seranah, don't bother la. trust me, byk yg cmtuh...

sudah la, jom suzi's!

NoktahHitam said...

80% sumpah seranah. Lumrah manusia. Dah2, aku bace negaraku.net je. Aku dah filter baik2 dah tu, with 50% being ex-mainstream media journo.

cite pasal labor room, O&G best gile. haha gelak sakan aku.

mlle linie said...


ur silent reader said...

demmit la these politics... sebab diorg tak pasal2 aku stuck in the jam on the way to the office today.. mmg sakai. police buat roadblock sana sini.. adusssss babi betul. patutnya diorg2 ni susun sebaris and tembak di khalayak ramai je.. tak kisahla whether ur KJ (dia ni mmg babi..) ke.. Mr. C4 ke.. Mr. Sodomy ke.. sume sama je.. masing2 ade hidden agenda.. takde langsung niat ikhlas nak jadi pemimpin.. huh

btw ur uniten student eh.. baru tahu..

The Banker said...

silent reader: i arrived at the office to day and found it almost empty. for a while i thought it's a public holiday and i forgot abt it. fat chance. but yeah, all these things menyusahkan rakyat je in the end.

yups, was there for several years doing my degree.