Thursday, April 5, 2007

A Note To You

Hey man,

How are you holding up? This is kinda awkward. Let me just give it to you straight, okay? I'm better at that.

Look, it is not the end of the world. I know how you feel, I felt that 7 years ago too. I felt it over and over again when I was slogging away in college, doing something I never wanted to. I felt like a failure all the time. But look at me now. I'm making more than what dad makes after so many years of working. I am looked upon with respect and for some with perhaps a touch of envy by my friends. I love what I'm doing, not so many people can say that.

And where did I start out? With a mediocre SPM result, with a halfbaked desire to do the degree, and with a heart burning with ambition to make up for all the disappointments. The end will justify the means, believe me. I know mom and dad was more than just a little bit disappointed that I did not get to go for a degree overseas, but they hid it well. In hindsight, it's a blessing. What if I was 10,000 miles away when dad was hospitalized, and not be able to come home to take care of the household while mom cared for him at the hospital? See, God moves in mysterious ways.

I'm glad Sis got the perfect score, got to do what she wanted and lived up to everyone's expectations. She made them proud, much more prouder than I ever did. I have a lot to thank her for. At least it eased their worries some more.

Now at 24 I have a good paying job, have bought a house of my own, planning to buy my dream SUV soon, and ultimately able to live on my own without burdening mom and dad anymore. God knows how much I've squandered away in college. To whom I attribute all these too? To their support. Mom might not know much about Calculus, but she knew enough that it's not peanuts and always have the right words to say whenever I felt like giving up. Look out for it, pretty soon you'll be treated more as a man than a boy like before. But earn that respect from her, no more fooling around so much. Or rather, don't show it to her. Been there, done that.

It's your time to shine. Me and Sis have been through the paces, gone to good boarding schools, took respectable degrees and have shined in our own way. The stage is set for you. There's no other way than up from now, trust me. Slog away if needed be, do away with sleep if you have to, but always remember that this is your time to prove the doubters wrong. For what it's worth, I'll be with you all the way.


P/S: Mom and Dad doesn't write any of us off when we strayed. Don't you worry about that, they are most supportive (why did you think mom nagged so hard for 2 years to get you to study?) and most of all, their love does not rise and fall like a tide. It's a constantly enveloping mist. Always around, but barely seen most of the time. After 24 years of them, I think I know a thing or two by now.


*fizzy* said...

Dear Along,

I'm proud of what you've become today.
I truly am.
Everyone has their own way of defining "success".
And I guess you've defined yours.

I've been in that situation too.
I let my parents down with my results.
Sometimes, I even felt dissapointed with myself.
And I often felt 'small' in my group of friends.
They are all successful and have accomplished so many things in their lives.
[that includes you, Along.]

But in a way, there are the good sides of it.
At least I'm not dependent to my parents anymore.
And insyaAllah, if God gives His way, I'll move a step forward towards reaching my goal in life soon.
[Getting a degree and then get married.. =D]

So Along,whenever you get that SUV [or BMW], do give me a call okay?

Yours truly,

idya si comel said...

can i be the first to ride in ur SUV..?!
(fine,mesti kau tk kasik sbb takut pancit.. demm u si badak..!! haha..)

btw,i'm so touched with ur entry..
huhu.. u sound so..err,brotherly..u know..i cant imagine u saying that..hahahah..
way to go along..! =p..

nnt blanje lagi k..! nk mkn nasi lemak sdap yg kau ckp kt atas tuh pls...!! hahahaha..

Edwin Masripan, said...

glad you enjoy your job. disappointments in life biase la. as long as your earning mmg halal, is good enough. tp the part yg ko earn lebey dr your rase mcm unnecessary je. tp aku paham ape ko rase.

SUV? bile ko start bela anjing ni? impian bimmer ko ape cite? bole merokok tak dlm SUV ko?