Thursday, December 11, 2008

Commuting Peeves

1. People who decided to turn on to the main road from a junction eventhough another car is coming at a considerable speed towards them, and then decide to accelerate at a leisurely pace. This often causes the other car having to brake hard and this will be automatically followed by a bagful of cusses from the other driver, usually directed towards the slow car's driver's innocent mother.

Proposed Mitigant: Apart from gently nudging them off the road (if you are driving a big 4x4 that is), change lanes or reduce speed immediately once you see a potential one. Usually driving an old model Datsun or Kancil. Makciks in big cars too.

2. People who got into packed LRTs wearing a big backpack and tried to find a nice spot to stand without bothering to take the bag off first and hold it. The offending backpack often smacked people's head (pity the short 'uns), or other commuters' books/magazines/boobs while the dumbass makes his way. Cue repeat when he tries to get off from his spot in the middle of the carriage.

Proposed Mitigant: Hold on to his backpack while he's trying to find that spot. He'll think the back's many straps got caught somewhere and will take it off his back to take a look. Repeat for fun.

3. Chinese schoolkids on LRTs in the evenings. I'm not being racist, but this is from my years of observation and the fact that strangely I seldom see Malay or Indian schoolkids on the trains I am on. They would stank to high heavens, which is bearable since in the evenings quite a lot of people smell after a long day, I can live with that. They would also talk in the loudest voice they can muster, eventhough the other party is just next to him. After work, I'd like to get some nice quiet time and most other commuters are quiet maybe for the same reasons, but with them around it's plain impossible. I do feel like smacking their heads with a big backpack at times.

Proposed mitigant: Noseplugs and Earplugs, or earphones. Make sure the volume is up to max.

4. People with BO who have no qualms about hanging on to the bars and let the whole car smell their armpits. Last week I had the misfortune to stand close to this fella with very bad BO, and it was in the morning. I cringe at the thought of him entering the same car as mine in the evenings. But I pity this petite girl standing in front of me, her face was directly in the line of fire, so to speak. I can tell she was tortured the whole journey. Perhaps she's now driving to work after the trauma she went through.

Proposed mitigant: Bring an extra aerosol deodorant and spray it on him. Hopefully he'll get the message and buy his own. Or he would just look for you every day so he can skimp on the deodorant and still not smell bad.

Such is the life of a commuter.


aishah said...

wah. i couldn't agree more. with everything. especially the part of holding the bagpack. repeat for fun. i was laughing while reading that lines. haha. good one.

The Banker said...

Glad u enjoyed it. I actually typed out most of the entry on my phone while on the LRT this morning, hehe.

ZubaidahArshad said...

The Banker,
Riding trains in Malaysia could be one of the best moments you will have in your life.

And I used to backpack. And ride the train. And I know how did it feel. I felt bad most of the times. With the backpack I mean. In the train. In a car jampacked with nice people.

I am sorry, commuters.

Anyway, I've read most of your entries and it is safe to say (by my humble observation) that you are kind of guy who loves to read.

I am suggesting you to read Mark Haddon's A Spot Of Bother.

Then we can initiate a book club to discuss the characters in that. I love that book. It makes me think.

NoktahHitam said...

No 1. Depending on what car I drive, I usually honk as long as I could. Jenny is usually my cure for this madness. Sometimes I throw stones, empty cans or anything i can get from the car even a box of tissue. Serves them right.

No 2. In the early days, yes. People dont really know they need to take their bags off. It's quite rare now. Like you said, cling on the back pack. Tarik sampai die pon melutut. Hahaha. Padan muke.

No 3. Very true. Solution, pretend to answer call and talk louder than them. Show them, who's Taiko! (like Digi's ad in cinema).

No 4. Fortunately KLCC to Jelatek is less than 15 minutes. If its really bad, I'd just shout for nothing. Saje release tensen.

No 5. The one yg stare you top-toe-top. Get a life.

No 6. The pervert who smells girls hair. Go rot in hell

No 7. The romantic couple, eloping and swallowing each others saliva. Get a room.

And my favorite No 8. Awek perasan. Sorry, you're not my type. So takyah lah nak tunjuk hang tu taken dan 'mahal'. Kalau hang laku sgt, dah lame laki hang pi antar n jemput from work. Kalau tak laki pon, scandal, or what ever you call it.

aishah said...

NH, Gen2 punya hon memang kuat! kan? I always try not to honk as much as I could though.

The Banker said...

za: i am an avid reader. in fact i am heading to kinokuniya today after work to get some new books, ran out of books to read.

a spot of bother is the book with the mathematical equations etc right? though i'm an engineer by training and a banker by profession, numbers and mathematical equations still scares me =P

nh: nope, last week alone 2-3 orang pakai backpack besar gajah and just trudge through as though there's nothing on their backs. the schoolkids are also one of the perpetrators.

i agree with your #7 and #8. #7 deserve another entry altogether, and #8 are just fun to watch, see her turn indignant at every suspected look u gave her. lol.

aishah & nh: gen2 and neo's hon same tak? i think neo pon bleh tahan gak.

ZubaidahArshad said...

The Banker: Nope. That one is The Curious Incident Of A Dog In The Night Time.

The book I mentioned is a different book by the same author.

Please please get the book.

Anonymous said...

NH.. just out of curiosity.. u penah try nak tekel aweks ke during ur lrt ride? seems like ur experienced enough at point #8

*fizzy* said...

should i be thankful then, since i work in a place that doesn't even have 'keta lipang'?? *lol*
well, you'll get used to them someday. though i can't imagine getting used to no.4 is a good thing. rotfl.

anywa, thanks for coming ya the other day. i'll make a mental remark, next time i make soto, begedil should be the MOST important side dish and be sure to prepare a lot of it. hahaha.

Queer Ranter said...

Love the part on grabbing the guy's bag pack! Pure evil~~~ :P

Chinese school kids especially boys, totally agree. Smelly from playing basketball or something of the sort during recess and yes they are one rowdy people. My relatives are...

The Banker said...

queen ranter: haha, talking from experience aye? lol